I'm on standby. At work, in our crewhotel. And come to think of standby, my whole life seem to be on standby. I'm just waiting for something to happen to lead me on the right path. As it is today I am too exhausted to do it myself. I can't deal with being strong and positive anymore and for example look for a new place to live. I just have to go with the flow.

I have been out drinking myself silly with Leighton (last night) and tonight just watched a dvd and had stirfry and been to the gym. Not too bad I suppose, I like relaxing. But at the same time I get bored.

Thank god I have got my lovely family and friends. Amy rang tonight and then my lovely mum. They are both so supportive but not to blame them; they get frustrated with me!