Well, as I had given up hope that someone is watching over me and leads me on my way through life, and as I had given up my believes that everything happens for a reason, then suddenly things have happened for me to start believing again. There has been so many downs in my life lately, I haven't even been able to regonize myself in these darkest  and most hopeless moments. But... as I was at my lowest I got this trip to Bangkok and Sydney. First I panicked and thought, no way I can go away now for nine days! I just didn't want to but couldn't call sick AGAIN from work. So I packed my bags and left and now I have just stepped through the front door, back in London again, nine days later.

I have had such a wonderful time! I met so many wonderful people. Saying goodbye to Marcus before he left also went better then I had expected and I even knew two guys in my crew. One of them who I spent christmas with in Bombay! I also gained a new friend, Lydia. She is a lovely, gorgeous person from London, who is single and up for fun, so we will definately keep going out here in London. Then I did all these things that brought me back to reality, to life. To the feeling I used to have; that life can be great! :)

I had lots of thai massages, reflexology, the weather was soooo hot and humid, just the way I like it. The people are wonderful and i love the smells of Bangkok, the dirt, the fun, the Singhas (beers), the wonderful thai food! You name it, Bangkok has it all! The shopping is great, our hotel is fantastic! We also went to a bar, called Sirocco. It was the most magical place I have ever been to, it was on the 64th floor of this amazing hotel, with the most beautiful skyline I have ever seen. There we were on the roof terrace, having drinks under the stars. It was an experience I will never forget.

Then I went to Sydney and went out for dinner and lots of catching up and girly chats with Alex, and then I met ANGE the next day! I hadn't seen her for over two years and I couldn't stop hugging her when I saw her! She was gorgeous and slim and just as happy and fun as always. I had missed her so much!

I have started to realize that I have to cut down on food, drinks and become my usual self. I want to lose a lot of weight and get my confidence back. And being single might not be the end of the earth, I just have to find myself again. I am not happy in London at the moment, and not very happy being almost 'homeless' but at least wherever I am, I am sorrounded by friends.

My wonderful friends Nina and Solmaz are coming to visit today, so I am going to sleep now then out with them, I'm off work for a week! I have been awake now for more then 30 hours so I am sooo tired and jetlaged.

Thank God for British Airways!

Here are some pictures from amazing Bangkok!

This is me and some of the lovely crew on the roof terrace bar!



This is the beautiful veiw from the bar!



A typical little thai man selling peanuts on the street!